House At Cthulhu Corner
Words: © 2001 by Tom Smith
Music: "House At Pooh Corner" by Kenny Loggins
I've got the collected Winnie the Pooh and a wonderfully cute Huskie Bear. I've got a dozen books of Lovecraft stories, a purple paisley stuffed Cthulhu, and a Summer Fun Cthulhu. I don't know what it is about Pooh and Cthulhu, but it was inevitable that the two of them would show up together in one of my songs. (I also used to have a great bumper sticker: "Bother," said Pooh. "Eeyore, ready two photon torpedoes and lock phasers on the Heffalump. Piglet, meet me in Transporter Room Three.")
Christopher Robin was slain on the altar,
Where shadows of Innsmouth run deep.
Pooh didn’t hesitate, Pooh didn’t falter,
His master’s in Rl’yeh asleep.
And I'm only a kid, I don't know what he’s doin’,
Let alone why the Great Old Ones want a stuffed bruin.
Help me if you can, I’ve got to stop
Pooh from reviving Cthulhu by one,
You’d be surprised, there’s so much to be done,
Circles to summon and bind,
Color them inside the lines,
Stop the cloth golem we all know as Winnie the Pooh….
Winnie the Pooh doesn’t know what he’s
doing,
The Elder Gods got in his head.
Task after task he performs without asking
Why friend after friend turns up dead.
And the ultimate goal isn’t clearly defined,
But it’s taking a toll on his silly old mind.
Help me if you can, I’ve got to stop
Pooh from reviving Cthulhu by one,
You’d be surprised, there’s so much to be done,
Leave all the Deep Ones behind,
Making a cute Elder Sign,
Prepare for the final conflict with Winnie the Pooh….
Rabbit is missing, and Piglet was drowned
(It was thought accidental at first);
In a room without corners, Owl was et by a hound;
In his chest, Tigger’s heart up and burst.
Now there’s only us three, but we will find a way,
And I Kanga-rantee, Eeyore gonna Roo the day….
Believe me if you can, we’re gonna stop
Pooh from reviving Cthulhu by one,
What do you know, I think maybe we’re done,
Chris and my friends all alive,
Great Old Ones gone from the sky…
*yawn* Good morning, Mother, I guess I was dreaming
–-
Everything’s fine – Piglet, you can stop screaming –-
What’s with that dazed look, Pooh?
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh….